Recently I’ve been going on a lot of long walks around the city and to keep myself occupied, like many people, I listen to podcasts. A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a podcast called “How to Start Over” by The Atlantic which talks about a variety of subjects, but mostly emphasizes the topic of finding happiness. The accredited therapists and researchers who lead these episodes talk about how their patients and subjects find happiness through specifically assigned activities and resources. After listening to a few episodes, I started using what I had learned to spruce up my daily routine and watched to see if the activities made a difference in my levels of happiness.
Let’s backtrack a little….when I came back from my travels this Summer, I felt a bit lost and confused on what to do with my future. On one hand, I had been interviewing for a job that seemed like a great stepping stone position and on the other hand I had a plan to go teach abroad in Spain that had been an idea of mine for the past couple of years. The confusion definitely stemmed from when I was still in college. I felt immense pressure because I felt like I needed to know exactly what I wanted to do from the get go. I unfortunatley went my whole college career not knowing what I wanted to do and sticking with a major that I didn’t necessarily love. So naturally it felt like fate when I stumbled upon the first episode of this podcast called “Starting Over When You Think It’s Too Late.”
This episode made me feel a lot better about my situation to say the least. It was about a woman who went all the way through law school only to realize she hated law and wanted to become a writer. She said that along her journey in finding her true passion, she forgot what she enjoyed doing and felt unhappy. She saw a therapist who validated her feelings of unhappiness and concluded that she needed to get back on track to finding her sense of self. Her therapist asked her to participate in an exercise where whenever she felt happiness and contentment she had to write down what the product of those feelings were. This could be anything ranging from watching your child graduate from college to the taste of a pb&j sandwich. The woman spent months building up her list of small and big things that made her feel happiness and by the end she felt like she had a better understanding of who she was and what she wanted in her life.
The second episode I listened to was called “How to Identify What You Enjoy.” There was really one key takeaway that came from this episode and it revolved around connections. humans are social creatures and most of us crave a social connection whether we be introverts or extroverts. Think back to when we were in quarantine. I know for a fact that when I came back out into society, I had to learn how to be social again and I even struggled with some anxiety. It was hard being sheltered and then released back into the world without instructions on how to go back to a normal routine. This podcast also mentioned that humans live for experiences and that people who go out into the world are more likely to have more enjoyment and fulfillment in their lives. There is actually even a way to tell if a person has lived a happy life by looking at the crows feet wrinkles by their eyes which people develop if they are constantly smiling. During the last few minutes of the podcast, the speaker reached out to listeners and asked them when they were last happy. For some people it was yesterday and for others it was two years ago. It was also interesting because the smallest daily things made people the happiest and what all of their happiest moments had in common was human connection.
After I listened to both of these podcasts I decided to put the activities to test. Over the course of a few weeks, I have been writing down some things that I love (see below) and I feel like it has reminded me of what makes me happy, what I should do more of, and what can make my day a little better if I am not feeling my best. In addition, I am following the second podcasts advice by taking time to call old friends when I am on a walk or spending time with family members on a work break. This episode also encouraged me to reach out to more people and say yes to more activities in order to incorporate a greater amount of physical connection. This past week I spent less time on social media and more time having conversations with people and I can say that it was one of the best weeks I’d had in a long time.
For reference, here is the list of things that make me happy:
- when humans give their dogs people names
- the smell of Christmas trees
- the idea of a bucket list
- scattegories
- showering after a beach day
- when you hear a good song and absolutely have to add it to your playlist
- the sound of violins and saxophones (separate)
- arm scratches
- playing soccer in the rain
- a long run
- writing down recipes I want to make (but never actually making them)
- overnight oats
- BEAR HUGS
- rooftops
- quality margarita
- smell of campfires or a barbecue
- getting to the point when you can’t put down a book
- themed parties
- spanish tv shows
- plants that look like mini trees
- plants that are unkillable
- outdoor concerts
- spring lake
- house hunting
- people who laugh at everything
- bucket hats
- my mom’s perfume
- people watching
- eggo waffles (mini ones)
- painting on a big canvas
- picnics with cheese
- watching people dance cause I wish I could
- ferris bueler’s day off
- sports sports sports!
- waking up early to start my day
- mangos
- stormy days
- taking pictures of friends
- when my dad laughs at his own dad jokes